Oj and midnight

It was then that I realized what I truly needed. and although your fire fills me with warmth,
I cannot deny the coldness that resides within my core. I wanted to give you all the keys and lead you to all of the right doors,
but those doors required something else. An unforeseen tool with unforeseen intentions. an ax. I needed you to take it from me. I needed you to violently hack away at the termite infested entrance until it spilled it's secrets to you,
left with no other choice but to do so. I needed you to break through because it's what you wanted,
because it's what I needed.
but instead,
here I sit. alone in this house that has become my home. my mental framework and my dungeon. Wondering wondering,
and somewhat hoping,

that someone will know the difference between a key and an ax. between what is wanted and what is needed,
and possess the guts to break down every piece of wood that has ever held me together,
not to see what is to be found,
but to find what needs to be seen.